I am Mad

I am mad at the system.
I am mad at myself.
I am mad about how I used to be so passive & naive for not seeing how paternalistic the system where I’ve been is.
I am mad for not having been vocal enough.
I am mad at how toxic masculinity is everywhere. And I am mad for those who are blinded by it.
I am mad at those people who perpetuate the narratives and practices of sexism, racism, toxic masculinity, misogyny, etc.
I am mad for not realizing sooner how intersected everything is and how chaotic the system and society where I was born and lived in are.
I am mad for being one of the victims of racism and sexism, but not having been vocal and active enough as a fighter against the fucked up system where many privileged people keep on dancing with their arrogance and ignorance on injustice and systemic oppressive system.
I am furious and that is why I keep learning, guarding my humility and staying alert of how my own deeds could affect others.

These are some of the many reasons why I chose to study and long to do something right, to be in touch with like-minded people that know how the global system needs to be deconstructed and how the path to a better world is not singular; how international guidelines must be contextualized considering the pluralistic ways of making sense of life; how solely theorizing change will just create more severe knowledge discrepancy and bigger gaps between the scholars and practitioners, between the privileged and underprivileged; how injustice is reproduced through ignorance.

I am mad and the more I learn, the more reasons I have to act and fight.